


sounds from the tomb

by kitdaumlers



Category: The Vampire Diaries (TV)
Genre: (and sex obvs...it's bk), F/M, Horror, it was supposed to be a one shot but i love giving myself extra work, m for some gore and a lil bit of horror? (idk i am a wuss so it might not even be that spooky)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-14
Updated: 2021-02-14
Packaged: 2021-03-06 16:48:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,593
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26452111
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kitdaumlers/pseuds/kitdaumlers
Summary: Two things Bonnie learns from her Grams.i. In your waking, don't touch dead things.ii. In your sleeping, don't talk to dead things.She knows something is deeply wrong when she does both.
Relationships: Bonnie Bennett/Malachai "Kai" Parker, past bonnie / enzo
Comments: 29
Kudos: 70





	1. aren't you hungry?

**Author's Note:**

> right! so in honour of octoberween i thought i would post a bonkai fic i've been thinking about for a while. It was originally supposed to be this first chapter but a plot started to unravel and i thought i'd have a go at writing it. Just a warning that it does get more violent and gore-y so please avert your gaze if that's not your gig. Anyway, shout out to sexy explorations of grief!

_Tears are running_

_They're all running down your breast_

_And your friends, baby_

_They treat you like a guest_

_Don't you want somebody to love?_

_Don't you need somebody to love?_

_Wouldn't you love somebody to love?_

**\- Jefferson Airplane; Somebody to love**

_I lose it in my solitude_

_you can’t fall in love with tombs._

**\- Jade Lawhon; sounds from the tomb.**

* * *

Elena is alive and Enzo is dead.

It should be the happiest days, weeks to follow. _Hope is restored! Your best friend is back!_ _The love of your life is dead! Body and soul obliterated to nothing!_

In the quietest of nights, Bonnie forces her mind to think about the timbre of Enzo’s voice, not the charring of his skin under fire. Calls to mind the lilt of song, not what the weight of his corpse feels like.

No one remembers, but she had to pick up his cold, bloodied heart. Once extracted, vampire hearts turn dull and cavernous. She held him and his heart in her arms, sobbing until Damon came to get her.

In the quietest of nights all Bonnie has is photos, voice notes, videos - digital archives of their love.

She would tease him for how archaic he was and his initial aversion with technology, he would simply laugh with her and kiss her until they both forgot what was so funny in the first place.

'How are you holding up?' seems to be the only way her friends can greet her. Like she's an old widow or dowager.

Bonnie is the thick dark fog that marrs their seemingly happy lives.

The evil is defeated. Everyone gets their happy ending, thanks to her.

She should feel proud. But she’s left with nothing - dead family and three empty houses to cry in.

Caroline comes back to Mystic Falls with the girls and of course she can’t face her. When she looks at her friend all she sees is the man that killed Enzo.

_“When I see the life you have, the kids, I feel so alone I want to die.”_ A confession let slip lifetimes ago, come back to haunt her all over again.

_I don’t want to die, I want to live. I want to live so bad._ She thinks. She’s fought tooth and nail for the right, the desire to live. That’s all Enzo wanted for her too.

So she will not turn the hate inwards. But she can't blame a dead man (it's not in good taste).

She needs someone to pour all the blame on like hot lava, burning in her misery and grief until they are unrecognisable.

When she struggles to sleep, the ascendent burns in her mind’s eye. It’s somewhere in the attic above her bedroom. She tosses and turns in bed, trying not to picture it melting a hole through her ceiling, and falling into her lap.

Bonnie rubs her temples and squeezes her eyes shut until she can think of something else - anything else.

_“Go back to sleep, love”_ Enzo would say, rubbing her back until she eventually did. Her mind is the only magic she can use to conjure him up now. She tries to think about what his breath felt like on her shoulder, the feel of his hands as they slipped round her body and lower, how she could always feel his smile on her skin even if she couldn’t see him. Bonnie curves her body as small as possible, imagining it’s Enzo’s hands wrapped around her, holding her, and not her own.

The next day Damon and Elena invite her to dinner and she agrees. It’s nice and light - a relief. Elena takes to being human like nothing ever changed, like she didn’t cheat death twice. Damon tells an off-hand story and mentions Enzo, and it feels like needles dragging down Bonnie’s spine. Elena coughs and Damon catches what he’s said, apologizing. Bonnie smiles. “It’s fine, don’t worry about it.”

It’s a good evening for the most part. Although they try to make Bonnie feel included, Damon and Elena are still tangled in each other, too much time passed not in each other's lives to not be joined at the hip.

It’s the lingering looks, the hands stroking napes of necks, leaning in to intimate whispers that hurt Bonnie the most. The language of lovers that she can no longer relate to.

In the quietest of nights - the anger mixes with a yearning - it's confusing and distorted.

The want burns low and constant - the desire to know and be known in the most essential of ways.

So she touches herself in the dark, bursting into tears when she comes, not able to meet her own eyes in the mirror the next day.

_Life has to move on_ , Bonnie tells herself. She takes on a research assistant role at Whittmore - Occult studies, by recommendation of Professor Saltzman and the fact that her grandmother used to hold the post before him. Researching and marking papers - it’s an easy distraction.

But her actions betray her with each passing moment. At the end of each day, her research becomes specific:

_Other uses for an ascendant_

_Can an ascendant be used to bind a witches power_

_Can an ascendant be hexed to one specific owner_

When her mind catches up with her body, she slams the book shut and drives home slowly, scared at what she’ll do if she’s alone late at night.

* * *

“You should talk to Caroline.” Elena says, swiveling her coffee cup in her hands. They get mid-week coffees at the university cafe when their schedules allow.

“I don’t think so, Elena.”

“You both lost someone. It might help you...process it better.”

“Hey Care, you married the man who killed my boyfriend - not the greatest conversation starter.” Bonnie rolls her eyes and clenches her jaw, looking away. She can feel Elena shrink a little in defeat. In her absence, she’s not used to how sharp and thorny Bonnie’s become.

“I - I know.” Elena sighs, holding her friends hand from across the table. “It was a stupid idea, sorry. I just want you to be ok, Bonnie.”

Bonnie smiles briefly. It doesn’t reach her eyes. “Well, I’m not.”

Bonnie is too tired to unpick the mess that their lives are.

* * *

Two things she learns from Grams:

i. In your waking, don't touch dead things

ii. In your sleeping, don't talk to dead things

Bonnie knows something is deeply wrong when she does both.

Kai can kill her in many ways. She knows that. Half siphon, half vampire - a double death, an ending of the body and the soul.

But something she can’t name inside of her, digs out the ascendent where she locked it in her attic. Another Bonnie thumbs through the pages of her grimoire to find the spell, heart beating in her ears. It’s someone else's voice she hears that chants the spell, opens the door to the karaoke bar, feeds Kai blood, watches his desiccating corpse reanimate.

His body jolts, eyes moving wildly until they settle on her. The recognition sets in and he tries to break out of his chains, convulsing and feral. Eyes blood red and fangs glaring in the light, Bonnie would be terrified if she wasn’t so determined.

_He ‘s just a punching bag. A release. Faceless. I need this. I need this. Just get it out._ With one swift movement, she slaps him hard across the face. The sound reverberates around the empty room and he looks at her, just as shocked as she is.

Blood rushes to her cheeks, exhilaration pumping through her veins. _Oh. Again._

The past few weeks flash before her. The empty beds. The dinners alone. The boarding passes gathering dust on her dresser.

Harder this time. It leaves a faint red mark, healing instantly.

Kai growls, trying to lunge at her, chains rattling in the chair. He’s rightfully rabid, uncontrolled and Bonnie tries to squash the giddy feeling that rises within. “Bonnie” He snaps at her. The very present danger dawns on her and panic grips at her throat. He’s inches away. He could kill her if he wanted to.

But suddenly, a calm washes over her. Closing the gap, Bonnie stands between his legs and puts a finger over his fanged mouth to silence him - calming him down like a rabid dog. Kai stills - hypnotised almost. The veins crawl along his eyes, and his pupils dilate, turning to a thick black.

Bonnie doesn’t cry out when she feels the wet of his tongue lick her finger. Or when the edge of his fangs pierce the flesh, blood seeping in drops into his mouth.

There’s something soothing about it - feeding him like this, bringing him to a seat of need, of stillness. He closes his eyes like a newborn, suckling with eagerness and gratitude. The vibrancy and colour starts to come back to his body. He sucks down to the knuckle and pops her finger out with a low hum.

“Thank you.” He whispers, licking his lips.

_What are you doing? What are you doing?_ It hits her like a ton of bricks and she wants to gag.

She suddenly recoils and slaps him again for good measure.

“Hey, what the hell?!”

Bonnie grabs the ascendant and flees back home.

“ _Ohmygod_ ” Clutching at her chest, she tries to catch her breath.

Flying down the stairs and into the kitchen, she searches in the dark for a hammer. Her shaking hands grip the handle, lifting it above the springs and trinkets.

She stands transfixed for what feels like hours. The same force that took her to the bar, stops her from smashing the ascendant, puts the hammer back in it’s drawer and hides the ascendant in a dish towel in the freezer.

That night in bed, she lets herself think about how good it felt to hurt, to bruise, to cause pain for once. Straddling sleep and awakeness, she replays the sensation of her finger in Kai’s mouth. His blue eyes gleaming with bliss, a relief she has never set eyes on and will most likely never feel in her life.

Knows that she’s the only one with the power to give it, and take it away.

* * *

“Happy Anniversary” She says to an empty bottle of Merlot.

They had been saving it for their three year anniversary, when they were _meant_ to be in Paris, and she was _meant_ to be wearing his favourite perfume of hers, and he was _meant_ to be toying with the straps of that satin dress he liked on her ( _“come on sweetheart, you know the one”)._

But instead, she’s in her too hot kitchen, depressed, tipsy and horny, ignoring the tag team texts from Damon and Elena.

**Im Kl, how’s Elena ??** she texts to Elena, instead of Damon and visa versa.

She groans into the cold panel of the freezer where she sits on the kitchen floor.

_Ice cream. That’s what I need._ Bonnie thinks.

Opening the freezer tray, she snaps it back shut when she sees the red dish towel.

“That would be stupid Bonnie.” She says to herself.

She takes small scoops of the ice cream. It quickly dissolves on her tongue tasting like water. She puts the carton away, washes the dishes, takes out the trash and stands in the dimly lit hallway between the stairs and the kitchen.

“Okay, time for bed.” Bonnie resigns to herself, standing completely still.

The mid summer heat is stiff and begs for relief even at this late hour. Finally, she moves. A burst of energy moves through her, pushing her to open all the windows in the house. But she returns to the kitchen sitting at the empty table. Sweat drips down the nape of her neck; she parts her legs and bunches her dress around her knees, letting the air in. She listens out for the periodic drip of the tap instead of the low hum of the freezer.

_Go to bed, Bonnie._ But her feet don’t move. Her hand on the table, caresses at the ridges and curves of the oak, circling out a figure 8. Her nail digs into the wood as the hum grows louder. _Go to bed_.

Her hand moves like a feather to her knee, snaking up to her thigh, tracing the pattern onto her hot skin. _I’ll go in a minute. Let me just-_

Before she knows it, the ascendent is in the palm of her hand. Eyes closed, the spell curves around her mouth like clockwork.

Kai wakes up again. His eyes move wildly until they settle on her, a bloodied grin slowly inching across his face.

Like he knows. Like he’s the psychic one.

“Well, well, well, look who it is.” His blue eyes shimmer in the spotlight. “Now, Bonnie - if you want to get rough again I’m going to have to feed first to get really riled up.”

Her body looms over him, inches away - so close that he has to crane his neck up to look at her. Bonnie feels a strumming in the pit of her stomach as she feels his eyes roaming her body.

Kai swallows, voice low and sing-song “All dolled up and nowhere to go.”

She grips her nails into his chin. Gives him no choice but to look at her face. “If you try anything stupid, I will kill you.” She says quietly.

Kai smiles lazily as he bites down on his lip, a hint of a laugh in his throat. “Oh, I would love that.”

She pools up her dress around her thighs and lowers herself onto his lap. Before she can think about what to do next, his mouth is on hers, rough and desperate. He’s hasty, lacking patience and care. It’s raw and primal and everything Bonnie needs right now. Her hands drag roughly through his hair, pulling at clothes, chains, any patch of skin she can feel out for. She presses her whole body into it, grinding down and working out the tension inside her. It’s sticky, all tongue and disgusting. And Bonnie can’t get enough.

He sighs breathless: “You really need it, huh?” His lips are puffy and bruised with how rough she’s been, coloured mauve from her lipstick. She wants nothing more than to make a mess of him.

“Shut up.” She instructs. And he does, his lips moving along the column of her neck, biting and sucking with equal enthusiasm. He’s ostentatious with his moaning but it gets her going.

He moves down to her breasts and she lifts her body up to give him a better angle. Lowering her dress, Bonnie lets Kai take a nipple into his mouth. The warmth of his tongue feels good in the cold air of the bar. She breathes into a sigh. It feels so good to be touched like this again. She tries not to think about what it was like last time, her last time with Enzo. Focuses instead on the man below her, his eyes fixed on her as she dry humps him.

Kai pulls away, licking his lips. He hums to himself.

“What?” She asks, suddenly feeling exposed.

He chuckles darkly. Bonnie grabs his face again, nails drawing blood.

“What, Kai?”

“You’re a very predictable woman, Bonnie Bennett. I like that about you.”

A wave of nausea washes over her. She wishes she was home, all of a sudden. “You don’t know anything about me.”

He closes his eyes, and leans into smell along her neck. She can almost hear the fangs retracting from his gums, taste the venom seeping through his veins.

“I could” He whispers.

She shudders as his teeth drag along her neck.

“Aren’t you hungry?”

Her heart pounds in her chest. Bonnie knows Kai can hear it, almost taste the blood pumping so close to his mouth. She hasn’t realised she’s said yes until she sees Kai looking at her expectantly.

“Well then; be a doll and unchain me” He winks.

“As if” She scoffs.

“Come _on,_ Bonnie” Kai whines. “You can put them back on after we’ve had... _fun_.” He smirks, chasing her mouth with his own.

“No.” She’s stern. Getting off of him, she questions her mental state to ever think this was a good idea.

“Wait!” He calls, the slight desperation in his voice makes her skin flush hot. “You didn’t come all this way for a dry fuck did you? Or maybe...that’s enough for you, I don’t know.” He trails off.

She knows the game he’s playing. He’s not the one in control, she is. She slinks over, slowly sitting on his lap again. His breath is shaky as she magics one hand out of his shackles and the other behind his back.

“One wrong move -”

“Yeah yeah, you’ll gut me - got it.” He grins. They both watch as his hand slides up her thigh, her hips and finally rests on her breast. He’s purposely slow and he revels in it. He slowly pulls down the strap of her dress, revealing each sliver of exposed brown skin inch by inch. Bonnie gets restless, trying to grind some friction against him. He’s hard, straining against his jeans. That helps, but she’s desperate for more.

“One thing I’ve learnt in this little jail cell you made for me Bon Bon” He drags his knuckles down her exposed skin, the fabric of her dress until they rest on her panties. By now, she’s broken out into a sweat, desperate and ready to burst. “Is patience.” She sighs as his fingers brush against her entrance. He whispers in her ear. “You look like you could really use some.”

To hell with control. She wants - no _needs_ this more.

“Just hurry up” She huffs, bringing a hand to move her panties to the side.

He chuckles at her eagerness. “As you wish.”

He works her raw. Tongue circling her nipple, his fingers pump inside of her. She doesn’t try to be quiet or pretty with it, she lets her hips buck against his hand like they need to, brings a hand to play with her clit when the pressure is too much.

“Just like that Bonnie, that’s so fucking hot” Kai dirty talks like a frat boy and she constantly has to kiss him to shut him up.

When she comes, she holds his head back so he can watch, riding his fingers until they're soaked to the knuckle.

“Fuck” He groans, resting his head back on the chair as she catches her breath.

She shouldn’t feel the lust in her eyes as he sucks each finger without breaking eye contact - a sly smile on his lips. But it turns to disgust as the bliss starts to melt away. She doesn’t want him to see the panic so she chooses defiance. She puts her dress back on, grabs the ascendant and magics his chains back on.

“Hey! Bonnie!” He hisses, rattling against his chains.

“You said I could put them back on after.” She shrugs.

“Wait! You can’t just-” He stops. The panic slowly starts to melt away. She doesn’t like that. That he knows something she doesn’t. He smirks and winks at her. It makes her feel sick, and she says the spell faster than she would like. Before Bonnie goes in a flash of white warm light, Kai calls after her. “I’ll see you soon, Bon.”

\---


	2. who are you when no-one’s watching?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahh. i’m so sorry for the long update wait! Life was kicking my ass relentlessly. Let’s just pretend it’s *checks last update* september 2020. Thank you guys SO MUCH for all the comments and feedback - it really has kept me going while working on this update, and I have been absolutely cracking up - you’re all so funny lmao. So i chopped and changed the chapter like twenty times (hence why it took so long). Thank you x infinity to @madeunmexico for beta reading and being a second pair of eyes for this chapter!
> 
> It covers a lot of ground - a deeper look at Bonnie’s relationship with Enzo and the dark places grief can bring her to. 
> 
> When I wrote this chapter I started thinking about the Bonnie that was willing to set Damon on fire in s1, the Bonnie that stuck a pick-axe through Kai’s chest without knowing that he would come back alive. Keep that in mind.
> 
> Oh ps. This is a m*tt d*vis free zone so feel free to fancast whoever you want as alaric (i’m going with timothy olyphant) I do it every time i see dollarama 90s val kilmer’s face <3
> 
> In terms of cw: grief, gore (it gets bloody)  
> 

_You've changed the locks three times_

_He still comes reeling through the door_

_One day I'll get to you / And teach you how to get to purest hell_

_You do it to yourself, you do_

_And that's what really hurts._

* * *

_“I’ll see you soon, Bon”_

Kai’s words ring out in her head.

How soon? And how could he know that? Like tomorrow? next week? next month?

_I’ll see you soon._

_Soon._

A promise. A threat. The inevitability of it looming above her like that stupid ascendant that got her in this mess in the first place.

_I’m losing it,_ Bonnie thinks.

All she had to do was destroy the ascendant. Throw it in a lake. Smash it to pieces, set it on fire - to keep to the task she had set out when she first made the prison world. To make Kai pay. To punish him.

To torture him. To teach him a lesson. To know what makes him tick, to push his buttons, to get under his skin, to know what it feels like to _be_ under his skin -

“Oh my god” Bonnie says aloud slamming her car keys on the table.

Elena looks up from her text book, worried.

“What? Are you ok?” She’s not in her bedroom alone, or in the bar - she’s at the cafe with Elena on a Sunday afternoon. She smiles and shakes her head. “Yeah, I just...forgot that I need to…” Bonnie glances at the keys in her hand. “...drop my car at the autoshop, that’s all.”

“Oh” Elena closes her textbook. “I’ll come with - then I can give you a ride back. Maybe we can grab dinner together after? Just you and me?” Elena smiles and it puts Bonnie’s mind at ease. She’s tried with her the past few months and although Bonnie hasn’t always responded, she’s appreciated the effort.

“Yeah. I would like that.”

* * *

The blue light of the phone lights up her dark bedroom.

Bonnie scrolls through pictures from work, holiday photos, photos of her, Matt and Elena until she lands on what she’s looking for. The video starts up with the sound of her own laughter, the camera shakes into focus until it lands on Enzo standing near a kitchen island in an apron.

It was their trip last summer to Tuscany. Bonnie had made an off-hand comment about craving pasta and he’d slid the plane tickets across the breakfast table the next morning.

_Enzo had an embarrassed smirk on his face and his cheeks were covered in flour._

_“Alright, laugh it up.” He said._

_She could barely get out her words with how much she was laughing. “Let me just- you look so adorable”_

_He clicked his tongue, trying to hide his smile._

_The camera panned down to the tray of burnt focaccia in front of him and Bonnie burst into a fit of giggles again._

_“Wait - what…what attempt is t-?”_

_“It’s attempt number 7” He cut her off, finally joining in on the laughter. “It’s still salvageable.”_

_“Enzo, baby." She brushed her hand on the side of his face and he leaned into it kissing her palm._

_The camera panned to the bread and Bonnie laughed again. “This is burnt!”_

_“It’s just very well done!” He protested, hanging his head in amusement._

_“Yes as in **chargrilled**.”_

Bonnie smiles at the video, wiping the tears at her eyes. She scrolls through endless memories, videos she took of them in bed together; his face, always with a smile, resting on her chest smiling softly into the camera.

The closeness fills her with a warmth as she opens another video. It was dawn on a beach in one of his coastal homes. Enzo sat on the dock, playing the guitar not knowing Bonnie was there filming him. The pink and golden light of the day tinted his skin as the sound of low tide rolled smoothly across the beach. He closed his eyes and smiled, content in that moment.

Bonnie hiccups as the tears blur her eyes. “I miss you baby.” She whispers, turning off her phone to lie in a cold darkness once again.

* * *

It’s a Thursday - midterms, and the fourth evening in a row she’s stayed later than everyone else in the department. It’s work that could be split across the other researchers and done before happy hour starts, but Bonnie welcomes the opportunity for something to do; something to distract her.

Tired from scanning papers and proof-reading articles, the slog of the day rests heavy between her shoulder blades. She stretches and yawns, her foot hitting the metal groove of the ascendant in her bag. It was stupid and reckless to carry it around - what if someone found it? What would she say if they asked her why she had it? The answer always came up empty. But it was like an itch, and she had taken to carrying the ascendant wherever she went, sleeping with it at night. Just in case.

_No._ She thinks. _That was just a one time thing. A lapse in judgement that will never ever **ever** happen again._

But how it felt to hurt Kai, to slap him, lingers like smoke. To tease him for blood. to be cruel.

his mouth on hers, his fingers curling inside of her, the feeling of his tongue on her skin. And the promise of pain. What her nails under, and into his skin would feel like. If she could just hurt him just like he hurt her - carve out a duplicate scar just under his ribcage.

Bonnie rubs her neck, steadying her shallow breath. She meets her own gaze in the cabinet mirror across the desk, confused by the flash of excitement she sees.

She’s read enough about Celtic ruins to build one from scratch. Her eyes are heavy, ready to close under the dim table lamp. Her head snaps up as Alaric knocks softly, standing in the doorway, Josie fast asleep in his arms.

“Hey” Bonnie whispers. “How’s she doing?”

“Better. Fever’s broken and this is the longest she’s slept in days. But the doctors say it’s seasonal.”

“And _not_ magically related.” Bonnie suggestively assures.

“Hey - you can never be too careful.” Alaric gently lays Josie on the sofa - she’s paler than usual and she curls up into the jacket he’s swaddled her in.

“What are you doing here so late?”

Alaric fishes out the colourful unicorn plushie wedged in the arm of the sofa. “I won’t hear the end of it if she wakes up without this. I was about to ask you the same thing.”

“Oh, I was just… brushing up on some reading.” Alaric picks up the book, bemused. “For a topic we’re covering two semesters away?”

She slides the book about prison worlds under the pile of mid-term papers as Ric flicks through the book in his hands.

“Hey - you can never be too careful.”

Alaric chuckles “shouldn’t you be out having fun, living your best years? I’m sure it’s happy hour somewhere.”

_Best years? Ha._ Bonnie shrugs, forcing a smile. “I just haven’t really been in the mood.”

Alaric’s smile drops and his face becomes more concerned, serious. He perches on the edge of the desk, hands tracing the book jacket as if he’s looking for the right words to say.

“Look, I get it.”

Bonnie’s shoulders tense again as an irking feeling bubbles up before she can silence it.

“When I lost Jo…”

_Here we go._ And Bonnie has to mentally scold herself for thinking like that.

“...I was destructive - I almost lost everything. You and Damon helped me back over the edge.”

_Please don’t grief bond with me._ And she has to stop that voice again.

“Throwing yourself into work isn’t the _worst_ way to cope but I’m -” He doesn’t look at her and she can see his mind trying to find the right words to say without being awkward. “-I’m always here if you need a listening ear.” And then Ric actually _pats her on the shoulder_ and she’s never been more acutely aware that he used to be her high school teacher.

Bonnie gives a cold smile. “Thanks, Ric.”

“It’s a long drive home. The spare bedroom is free and it would be like christmas for the girls if they saw Aunt Bonnie in the morning.” Bonnie makes quick work of the facts. Someone had to be staying with Lizzie whilst Alaric took Josie to the hospital.

“Ah - I’m ok.” Ric looks a bit hurt but quickly catches on. He averts his gaze, not sure how to broach the ex-best friend subject. “Sure of course - that’s totally fine. But at least let me drop you home.”

* * *

“Any plans for the evening?” Alaric asks, pulling up into her drive. A night in with Elena that she’ll call to cancel when she gets in.

“Does Grey's Anatomy reruns and peanut butter ice cream count?”

“It’s a start I guess.”

Alaric gives her that same look again - like pity, and Bonnie doesn’t like that. Before he can speak, she segways out of the conversation. “I should probably head in.”

“Yeah I should get Josie to bed.”

They both look back as Josie wakes up groggily, stretching her little arms above her. Her eyes widen with excitement as she sees Bonnie.

“Aunt Bonnie!” She scrambles out of her blanket, clamouring to the front seat, throwing herself into a hug. “oof - hi sweetie”

“Josie - remember the doctor said to take it easy.”

“Hi Aunt Bonnie, are you coming to stay with us?”

Alaric gives Bonnie the ‘I told you so’ look above Josie’s head.

“We can have a tea party again.”

“Oh, um - no Josie, we’re at my house.”

Josie frowns in disappointment. “Oh.” She looks to Alaric. “Can we have a sleepover, Daddy?”

“Not this time sweetheart, Aunt Bonnie’s very busy but maybe we can see her one weekend?”

They both look at her hopefully, Josie’s brown eyes staring up at her innocently.

Bonnie holds in a sigh, forcing a smile for her goddaughter.

“Sure. And we can go shopping and go to the park with Lizzie.”

Josie beams with excitement, wrapping her arms around her aunt. Her body is soft and warm in Bonnie’s hands, and she holds on a little tighter, closing her eyes to the sadness her empty house awaits.

Then Josie looks up at her, her words quiet, genuine. “And we can get ice-cream sundaes. When I feel sad about Mommy, Daddy takes us to get ice-cream.”

“Josie” Alaric chides.

“No it’s -“ She smooths the hair from Josie’s face. A sweet child. innocent. Her goddaughter she would do anything to protect. An innocence she hasn’t seen in herself for so long. “I would like that.”

Josie hugs her again, burying her head into her chest as if she knows what Bonnie’s done - a witch's intuition even at this age. As if she wants to siphon her sadness, the heavy weight that must emanate from the house.

* * *

The door clicks shut, a familiar silence greeting her.

Bonnie looks in the mirror and sees a very tired girl. Pricks her ears up to hear a very empty house. In the dimly lit hall, the old radiator cools down and the crickets chirp outside. _This is the life I live now. This is my reality now. Not the bar. It won't bring him back._ Bonnie sighs.

Actions have consequences. She of all people should know that.

Bonnie goes into the kitchen and gets the hammer. Walks up to the attic, pulls the chord and the stairs cascade like a viper until they rest in front of her feet.

A long twine cord usually hangs by the stairs edge but the bulb must be busted as it clicks every time she tries to pull it.

The stairs, chipped and old, are shaky underneath her. She has to use both hands to grab a hold and climb to the top. The draft from outside billows from the cracks in the old walls of the attic, the square darkness of it a thick and murky onyx.

Bonnie swallows, holding her breath as she pulls herself up, emerging into pitch black darkness. She feels slowly, finding a torch, trying hard not to drop the hammer or knock into anything.

The attic seems vaster, colder - more edges and corners. More places to hide.

She gropes blindly, her finger snagging and drawing blood on the old wood of the floorboard. “ _Ow_ ” She whispers. Behind her - a creak. She whips around flashing the torch into an empty corner.

“Ok, it’s literally nothing” She chides.

The golden jewelry box sits on an old coffee table. The ascendant, still red with her blood gleams under torch light.

Bonnie inhales with a shaky breath.

_If anything were to happen and Kai got out -_

She remembers the brown of Josie’s eyes, her sweet smile.

“I can’t let that happen.”

She raises the hammer, zeroing in on the crystal encased in the iron of the springs.

_“You and Damon helped me off the edge.”_

The wedding flashes in her mind. The knife in Kai’s hands. The same knife he gutted her with. Her collapsed lung as he left her for dead, crawling back to his house, magicless in the prison world.

Kai probably hadn’t desicated by now. Destroying the ascendant would mean he would get to watch as the prison world slowly fell apart. He would feel as his atoms ripped to pieces and his body ground into nothingness. He would feel, painfully, as he ceased to exist.

The monster gets his punishment.

She should be happy.

_“If you ever need anyone...”_

But the immovable fact remains that she’s alone.

Elena is alive and Enzo is dead.

The monster didn’t get his punishment. He got married and played the hero. He died, loved.

In this solitude, in this house, that’s carried a multitude of her mournings, Bonnie’s ashamed to admit that deep down - there is no joy, sense, _fairness_ in that. All that is left is a molten rage that in her grandmother’s cold attic, is about to break.

Bonnie puts down the hammer, and like magic, the light of the attic sputters back on. She begins opening up old boxes of antique cutlery, foraging for old scraps of metal from unfinished building works, sharp and heavy objects. She takes her search to the kitchen, placing the ascendant at the head of the table, humming with the same energy running through her.

And Bonnie decides to do what any grieving traumatised witch would do. She buries her trauma (a force of habit) but makes the slightest adjustment - one that she’s never done before.

She lets it run wild in the dark.

* * *

“I thought you would’ve caved sooner.” Kai’s smile is dazzling and bright despite the desiccation. “You’re looking well.” His eyes trail her body, resting on the skin between her skirt and thigh high boots. “As always.”

Bonnie tries to hide behind stoicism, but the giddiness, the excitement surges through her. She bites her lip, humming to herself.

“Got any blood in that little bag? Desiccation’s a real bitch on the insides.”

Bonnie grabs a chair and sits opposite him. Kai hooks his feet around her chair legs and pulls until their knees touch.

Kai clicks his tongue. “Let’s just clear the air. I for one was having a _great_ time.”

She remembers what it was like to touch him. To be touched by him, the cold metal of his rings against her, his mouth hot and rough on her skin. She leans back on the chair revealing a sliver of neck and he twitches ever so slightly towards her - like clockwork.

“You wanna pick back up where we left off?” Bonnie says sweetly.

Kai’s voice is low. “Why don’t you get a bit closer and we can cut right to it?”

She chuckles, watching how his eyes follow her. There’s a veiled desperation, an animal instinct that he’s trying to contain. He licks his lips as she rests a hand on his thigh and leans into him.

This close, she can catch as his eyelashes flutter, feel the strum of his body underneath her.

With one hand pressed to his chest and the other reaching into her boot, Bonnie whispers into Kai’s ear, “Close enough?”

In a split second Bonnie draws the knife from her boot and in one swift motion, it slides into his gut.

She can tell by the way his mouth curves and his pupil dilate that the vervain tip is doing a number on his insides.

Bonnie pushes the hilt deeper, his organs and guts squelching around the blade. “Or do you want me _closer_.” Her voice is foreign to her; more edge and steel.

She drinks in Kai’s reaction, revels in the sweat gathering at his brow; studies as he tries to contain the pain.

“ _Fuck you_ , Bonnie Bennett.” He spits out.

“No _fuck you_ , Kai Parker. You left me for dead. I had to crawl like a goddamn dog” He grunts as she twists the blade round. “To the nearest hospital, which was _miles_ away and you knew that.”

“I said I was sorry.” His jaw clenches as the vervain seeps into his bloodstream.

“This isn’t new to me. I’ve been dealt a pretty shitty hand in life, so monsters like you?” She shrugs. “I’m used to it. But after you’ve come into my life like a hurricane - not caring what you break, who you hurt, or what pieces are left to pick up afterwards - you’re gone. She snaps her finger. “Just like that.”

Kai looks weary, his body breaking down by the poison running through it. “If it’s any consolation, I was in _literal_ hell.”

She leans just by his mouth and she can sense the fear in him - taste it, almost.

“Well that’s not enough this time.”

* * *

Bonnie pulls out each tool and device, the sharp cold edges dancing under the bar lights. Kitchen knives, ceremonial daggers, hammers and crowbars from her Dad’s old toolkit - even a couple throwing stars from Jeremy’s hunter days.

She hasn’t the faintest clue what she’s doing - but Kai doesn’t know that.

He’s weak. Croaking out pleas, pretending to not beg for mercy. Bonnie smiles with her back turned to him.

“Maybe we can strike a deal - like uh, purgatory.”

“Hmm.” She pauses. “Nah.”

“What will your friends think, huh? I’m supposed to be dead and you’re going all Hannibal Lecter on a school night.”

Bonnie picks up a rusty hammer, admiring it in the light. “oh, you _will_ be dead by the end of this.” She smiles at him and he gulps. “I just wanna have some fun first.”

“Hey, aren’t you supposed to be like the moral one?” She rolls her eyes. “You’re the do-gooder glinda - you really want to tarnish your reputation?”

She pretends to think and Kai has the slight thought that she might change her mind. “Yeah. Why not?”

With one swift blow the hammer comes down onto Kai’s left shoulder blade, she tries to hear for the collapse of his bones into each other, but his scream ricocheting across the room overpowers it.

She catches her breath palming the handle and adjusting her stance. “Okay, that felt good.” She whispers to herself.

His voice is low and laced with unfiltered malice. “I’m going to _rip_ your spleen out.”

Something about it’s euphoric. Orgasmic. She hasn’t felt this alive in months.

“Not with a broken collarbone you won’t.”

The hammer slams down again and it sounds more like splintered wood than human bone.

Days could’ve passed. She’s taken off her jacket - worked up a sweat. Kai is bloodied and bruised, drenched in blood and sweat - healing and breaking all over again like a sponge. He spits out a dislodged tooth as a new one painfully grows back.

She pulls out the mallet and Kai rolls the one eyeball still functioning.

“Easy there Looney Tunes.”

Bonnie bites down a laugh, balancing the weight in her hands.

“Okay. I get it.” Kai’s words are laboured and choppy. “You wanted to make - what was his name? Steven?”

She studies the mallet, pretending to ignore Kai.

“Ah, yeah! Stefan. Wanted to make Stefan pay, but he’s floating in the great beyond, so you’ve come to the next best thing.” He manages a smirk. “Which I’m truly flattered by, by the way.”

“You’re the next best _nothing_.” Bonnie spits out. “This is just an inch of what you deserve.”

“So little Bonster is judge, jury and executioner ordained to make the miserable remainder of my life hell, etcetera and so forth. But what happens to _you_ after you’ve knocked my brains out, huh? I’m going to need some blood soon...or the next hit might be your last.”

“That’s for me to figure out - not you. Now, how do you feel about your kneecaps? Fond of them?”

Kai laughs. “Isn’t it sad.” She ignores him. “The insignificant witch with the insignificant life.”

“No I get, I do. You have no prospects really. All your friends have other things going on outside of you. Family. Kids. Each other.”

_He’s just trying to get inside your head, Bonnie._

‘But you -” He splutters, coughing up the blood from his collapsing lung. “- convince yourself that they need you. That this sinkhole of a town needs you, so you don’t have to face the fact that you are undeniably alone.”

“That’s enough.”

“You could’ve been so powerful. Why didn't you just keel over in ‘94 if you were gonna come back to be the town babysitter?”

“Shut your mouth Kai.”

“I think you secretly enjoy it. The death, the suffering. I watched you for months Bonnie - you can’t even conceptualise your life without tragedy. There’s always something else to blame. _I have to protect Elena, I have to protect Jeremy -_ who are you outside of what the big bad monsters took from you? You _need_ me.”

The mallett drops with a thud and she picks up the knife pressing it to his throat. “One more word.”

He says quickly: “Admit it. A part of you was relieved when Stefan killed your Buckley wannabe boyfriend. It brought you back to yourself, didn’t it? Finally! Someone else to blame again!”

She drops the knife and backs away, tears stinging her eyes.

Kai mocks her. “Aw don’t back down now. I thought we were having fun!”

She grabs his jaw - pushing it hard enough to crack.

“You mention Enzo again and I'll cut your tongue out.” The tears are blurring her eyes, she can barely see - all she can _feel_ is rage. “Are we clear?”

“Crystal.”

Bonnie realises her mistake when it’s too late.

Kai sinks his fangs into the webbing between her finger and thumb, and _drains._ Her magic, her blood, leaves her body faster than she can think. She only computes how screwed she is when her body slams into the back wall, and the ascendant’s in Kai’s bloodied hand.

“Ah, Bonnie Bonnie Bonnie.” She cries out in pain as he grabs her bitten hand, pressing his thumb into the exposed flesh where he ripped out her skin. “You don’t want to make an enemy of me, Bon. I can fuck you up in ways you can’t imagine.”

Bonnie recoils as he draws a finger to lick the blood from where her head hit the wall.

“Well. This was fun. But I have bigger fish to fry.”

Tears sting her eyes and she feels so stupid. Alone. _Again._

She’ll probably bleed out from the head wound or die from the bite. _Whichever is quicker_ , she prays.

“Chin up, Bon. You’ve been through worse.” He smiles and lifts the ascendant, closing his eyes to do the spell. “Oh, wait! Sorry, so rude of me.”

Kai speeds towards her and plunges the knife in her side, the same scar as before, the same place. Her mouth tries to form words, but they're inexpressible. “ _This_ \- is how close.”

The pain pulsates; it’s hot like molten and she’s fighting the urge to pass out. Her last view is Kai, chanting over her one ticket out of there. She closes her eyes, waiting for the warmth and the white light - the locked door that’ll seal her fate.

But there’s nothing.

Kai says the spell again. Nothing. He chuckles. Tries again. The gears of the ascendant click stuck and Bonnie breathes a sigh of relief. _It worked._

Kai lifts her up, shaking her awake. “Hey! what did you do?”

Bonnie tries to speak but he’s pierced her lung. A hoarse sigh escapes and then a ragged sad laugh. Kai tears a vein and puts it over her mouth. “ _Drink.”_

Bonnie smiles and shakes her head. He forces his wrist to her lips and she tries to pull him away, but the healing is already starting to set.

“If you don’t start talking I’ll make the last time we were stuck together feel like paradise.”

She’s silent. He pulls the knife out and she gasps at the shock. He points it just an inch from her eye.

“The next one goes in slowly.”

Her heart’s drumming. “It-It’s part of the spell”

“What spell?”

“The spell that made this prison world.” She croaks out. “I needed to tether it to something, so I tethered it to you. You can’t exist outside of it and it can’t exist without you.”

“And that means?”

“As long as you're alive, the prison world remains intact.”

“So the only way to escape is -”

“-to cease to exist.”

Kai’s nostrils flare as he grips the knife tighter. “I could just...I could just break the spell the old fashioned way and kill you.”

“It wouldn’t do anything. It’s a triune spell. You’d need the twins too.”

Kai smiles slowly, bested. “Clever girl. Look at you with your little revenge plan.” He drops the knife and picks up the ascendant, eyeing it. “Or...” Bonnie’s breath catches in her throat as the veins crawl from Kai’s eyes and he draws his fangs. “I could just hitch a ride with you.”

Her magic juts out of her, weakened by her wounds, Bonnie can only manage to knock the ascendant out of Kai’s hands and send him flying across the room.

She musters all her strength to grab the ascendant, not before Kai speeds back over and tries to grab it too.

They struggle - a wild animalistic thing - like he wants to smash her face in, kill her in a brutal human way. He bears his fangs and bites her, she palms his face with her hands, clawing into his neck. He hisses, hot and venomous: “You have no idea what you’ve started, Bonnie. No idea.”

“ _Motis!_ ” Bonnie pulls the knife across the room towards her, settling it squarely in Kai’s neck.

His body is still, then like lead on top of her.

“Yeah? Well neither do you.”

Bonnie catches her breath. A single tile falls from the roof of the bar. And then another, and then another. The tables slowly rot into dust as the lights start to flicker.

Bonnie drags her body towards the ascendant, staring at Kai’s corpse at her feet.

A bloody neck and bloody mouth - blue eyes cold, and somehow still dancing in the dying light. She closes her own eyes, before the image is burnt into memory.

* * *

Her magic is waning - she collapses on the cold hard marble of the kitchen, her blood dark and flowing fast. At least her final moments were finally putting an end to Kai Parker for good.

* * *

“Hey Bon - you’re okay.” Damon’s voice echoes, slowly reverbing into focus.

She struggles to gain clear vision, lying back down when the blood rushes to her head. She’s back in her living room. _Damon? Elena?_

Elena breathes a sigh of relief and Damon passes her a glass of water.

“What-what happened?” Bonnie asks.

“I was about to ask you the same thing.” Damon says.

“We said we would hang out tonight, remember?” Elena’s voice is strained, worried. Bonnie’s head is fuzzy, memories of anything before the bar becoming more and more difficult to grasp. “I came over and the lights were on, so I called you but you didn’t answer. I just had this... _feeling_. I called Damon as soon as I saw you.”

Damon’s voice is serious. “Do you remember what happened?”

Bonnie rubs her neck - the ghost of Kai’s fangs still present.

_This is it. I have to tell them._ Her mind flashes for a second to the ascendant, a sharp panic rising as she can’t see it nearby.

They both look concerned.

Bonnie shakes her head slowly. “I came home...and then the next thing I know...I woke up here.”

“No offence Bon, but someone really did a number on you before we got here.”

“Yeah, and you were bitten.” Elena’s doing her best to stay calm, but Bonnie can feel the fear rolling off her. “Have you noticed anything weird lately or sensed anything like...a vampire?” She trails off, going quiet.

She rubs her neck again looking to Damon. He may not know when she’s lying, but Elena does.

“I really don’t know. I just -” Bonnie sighs, hating herself for what she’s about to do. “Everything with Enzo - I haven’t really been all here.”

Damon squeezes her hand apologetically as the tears fall, and she feels sick.

But there’s something about the way Elena looks at her. As if she’s looking past her into something else. To _someone_ else.

“I think you should stay at the boarding house. Until we can figure out whatever this thing is.”

“Yeah. I-I would like that.”

* * *

“I just have to get some stuff in the bathroom!” Bonnie calls to Elena.

“Sure - I’ll be in the car!” Elena calls back.

Bonnie closes the bathroom door and leans against it until her thudding heart slows down.

_“Holy shit_.” She says aloud.

Kai’s bloodied open mouth and eyes. How cold the world felt. How it felt like something was shifting as his body desiccated.

Bonnie looks at herself in the mirror.

“Oh my god.” She laughs to herself, stretching out the muscles in her newly healed hand, the adrenaline pumping through her veins like electricity.

Bonnie closes her eyes, thinking of the warmth of the blade in Kai’s body, almost like it was a part of her - joined as one. She takes out the knife concealed in her pocket, holds it up, weighing it between her palms, their blood still coated on it.

Bonnie turns on the faucet in the bathroom, washing her hands. She presses the cold water onto her eyelids, her temples, the pressure point behind her ear. She looks at herself in the mirror again.

The fluorescent light casts harsh and distorted shadows across her reflection. Peering closer, her eyes look lighter, the skin around her face feels tighter and she has to touch it to make sure it really belongs to her. Kai’s words ring in her ears: _“You have no idea what you’ve started, Bonnie.”_

She sighs, massaging the skin underneath her eyes. Her reflection does the same. She just needs some sleep, that’s all. She’ll take some sage and herbal teas with her, and take a long bath before bed. She drys her hands, eyes stuck on her reflection in the mirror.

She puts her rings back on - the mirror does too.

Even if Elena found the ascendant and pieced together where she was, she made no mention of it. Maybe Elena knew her best friend _had_ to do this. Turned a blind eye for the sake of closure. For both of them.

She’s done the right thing. She finally won.

She chuckles at the thought, smiling and shaking her head.

It’s not funny but it is.

It absolutely is.

Readying her duffle bag, Bonnie drops it with a thud when her reflection doesn’t do the same. It’s stuck smiling and shaking its head an after-image stuck on loop from ten seconds ago. She gasps and her reflection catches her eye. It slowly turns it’s head to look at her - remembers what it is, and mirrors her gasp too.

The chill trickles like ice water through each rung of her spine.

Bonnie runs out the bathroom before her knees give out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> is Kai dead fr fr? wtf is going on with Bonnie? her torturing kai was kinda...hot?? does elena know? wth is the ascendant???!! find out next time on dragon ball z......
> 
> oh and happy valentines day! *blows a kiss to the sky* for all my bbz reading this update xx

**Author's Note:**

> let me know what you guys think!  
> [here's a lil fic playlist.](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/1fV7A6et4aZuSXWTCOlrZJ?si=ZG891a7IQ02SCKANvoc2XA)


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